So i have realized that updating this blog everyday may be a little unrealistic but I am going to do my best...Let's see.. This weekend was great. I got to spend it with my friends and family. Had a going away party for the tatas...lots of fun, laughter and tears but all in all I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many positive people.
I took the kids to see Alice and Wonderland tonight. Highly reccomend seeing it in 3 d. It was great. I want to spend as much quality time with the kids since I feel like I am not going to be as exciting to them in the coming months.
I feel a little bit like Alice right now..like I am in a dream..like i fell down a rabbit hole and everything in my world is spirling around me at a pace I cant keep up with. Nothing makes sense in this new "wonderland". I feel like the weight of the world is resting on my chest..Yes they feel heavy and gross and I am very anxious to cut them off. Only 1 day left and then it is off to the hospital..that I am grateful for..I dont think I can wait another day. Alice does realize halfway through the movie that she doesnt have to continue to live her life by going off of what everyone else wants for her..she decides that the fate of "wonderland" is in her owns hands and that it is up to her to make everything better. I can relate to that. I am the only one who is going to fight this and decide what the outcome may be..of course the doctors (tweedle dum and tweedle dee)...friends (mad hatters,door mouse, the crazy hair) and family (chesire the cat and the cute caterpillar) will be there to guide and help along the way when I need it..but in the end I have to make my own choices and decisions that will lead to my fate. The cancer is like that Jabberwocky. He is going to end up losing his head in the end..LOL "off with her boobs". The shitty thing is that there is no Johnny Depp anywhere to be found here.
I love you all and cant wait to continue this journey. So in honor of Lewis Carrol and his wonderfeull imagination...a quote to levae you to think of.
"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Lewis Carroll
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