One day at a time....

So this last week has been quite busy...the kids were back with me and although they were in and out back and forth between home and wonderful friends houses it was a lot. Savannah who happens to be 7 years old now is all drama and sassy...( I have no idea where she got that from??... Insert remark here..) HAH. She has been very sensitive to the fact that I am sore but she also doesnt understand that her whining has the same affect as if she were jumping on my stomach.. I love her to pieces. She has taken over medication reminders and duties when Bryan has not been able to and bless her little heart she was holding my drains up for me while I was cleaning my self up. She is eagar to help and I love that about her. I am proud of her for her compassion. She is so beautiful inside and out and I feel so blessed to have her in my life... Riley is just as wonderful. He seems to understand more about the disease and he has been very sensitive and compassionate but also more emotional about the whole thing. His approach has been to stand back a little more than Savannah and just be there when I ask or need him to be. I do get the "I love you mom" from him all the time. I think that Riley is internalizing this a little more and he has shown that he is becoming more sensistive to other things that people say or do. I am sure he is feeling overwhelmed and I am doing my best to make him feel as comfortable and as loved as possible. He has always been my sensitive little man and I never want that to change.

I held him the other night as he cried..He would not say exactly what it was that he was upset about but he just wanted to cry. I think he is doing his best to be a strong man for his mom...I love him for that but he is still my little boy..

Update on the C word...it still sucks..LOL... I have decided to make some changes in my life that I will be annoucing soon but until then I have my first oncologists appt tomorrow....for those of you who are not as smart as I am...(kidding I only know cause I got cancer)...that is the chemo doctor...they will set me up on my chemo schedule and I will find out exactly how long I will have to go through this part of the treatment....there can be some pretty nasty side effects to chemo so I get to ask all sorts of questions...

What is so striking to me is the fact that after all of this time and reserach that has gone into cancer and cancer treatment..the best they have come up with is chop it up...cut it off and poison the person to the brink of death but not enough to kill them..this is standard practice for cancer treatment...I have looked into alternative methods and have begun to take some steps into hollistic ways to fight cancer as well...easier said then done..when all of the doctors you are going to are telling you this is the way to fight it.

If anyone has heard of other ways please let me know..

Love everyone! Thanks for listening!

PS..the message from church on sunday was all about strenghth and courage..I thought it was quite approipiate and somehow he always knows what I need to hear to get me through the day.