Well… I sit here in my bed alone and wonder what the heck is the point of all of this. Tim mentioned to me that sometimes it takes a catastrophic event in ones life in order for them to wake up essentially and live. I think when we are born …we are born with this overwhelming sense of wanting to live but then life wears you down…so many rules and how to and expectations of others on how one should act that the living that you originally intended to do becomes secondary to “normal” life. We forget how to love truly, play truly and laugh and have fun! I have only two more chemo treatments left but this scares me to death. What am I going to do after CANCER…i know I can do anything but it almost seems like there is nothing else as important. I don't want to fall into the same patterns before that I was not happy with. I want it be a great mother and maybe someday wife again. But how do you choose a career path that you know will never make you happy. I feel like there is something else out there looming…GREATNESS! How to achieve it with still being simple and living a simple life with my kiddos. I have struggled this week with feelings of confusion. My brain starts on a path and then it is unable to complete it…it has surfaced its ugly head in all aspects of my life and I am here to say that I make mistakes all the time and still have a ton of learning to do. I want to make sure as I grow as a person that I remain a respectful person to my friends and loved ones. I think that we are all guilty of becoming comfortable with one another and we tend to lose respect that we once had. It is all about respect. Treating others the way you would want to be treated>
Night Crazies! Love Ya
